Cat's Eye Galaxy
by Luna Moonsurf
Summary: All businesses must start somewhere, grow from something. This something is two siblings and a few mahogany tables. They intend to open a cafe, and have 'hired' some help to make it happen. Cat's Eye Cafe: how to enslave and blackmail your way to success.
1. Grand Opening

Cat's Eye Galaxy

**Disclaimer: **My initials are LM not CLAMP. Baka moderators. JK! Please don't delete me!

**Things That Are Important And Necessary To Avoid Confusion****: **

**Main Characters: **

Fai Fluorite:20 years old, thus not a bajillion years ancient, owner of the Cat's Eye

Chi Fluorite:17 years old, thus loves cute things like puppies and adorable little kids, younger sister of Fai, the two are refugees from a, ahem, 'war-torn country' (I know, "that's _one_ way to put it")

Kurogane You-ou: 23 years old. As a young child he went into a grief-stricken rampage over his mother's death, damaging tons of property and injuring several people; is paying off the cost to this day, providing free labor to a certain budding business owner.

Okay, this is obviously AU, so roles and powers are deleted or changed usually. However, some keep their abilities; for example: Yuuko and Clow are still magic and Subaru and Kamui are still (hawt) vampires; but nobody can cross dimensions (no one needs to), also Sakura and Tomoyo aren't necessarily princesses…Screw timelines…Err, just assume everyone's looks, personalities, and ages are like that from Tsubasa; unless otherwise apparent. The numbers are there to help explain my reasoning as well, but are not really necessary for you to (hopefully) enjoy the story. Actually, I probably wouldn't read them 'til the end if I was you.

So now, after probably the world's longest Author's Note, I proudly present to you: Cat's Eye Galaxy!

Onward!

* * *

~Opening Up Shop~

Kurogane scowled at his far too cheerful new boss, "Why do I have to work for _you_? For free, no less."

"Well, as a new business owner, the ever-so-kind people at the employment agency, under the impression that being inexperienced equates to being naïve, foisted you upon me." Fai said grinning "Anyone can tell you're paying off some massive debt if they're offering you up to the cheap-labor-desperate dogs as an unpaid worker, but you have yet to be snatched up and tore apart in one of their merciless jaws. Did you level a city?"

"…How can you say anything of that smiling? And if you're so _informed _about me-"

"So I was right about Kuro-wanwan!" the blonde ducked under a punch.

"As I was saying, if you know so much about me, why did you hire me?"

"Because I can't afford to pay anyone yet."

The dark-haired man raised an eyebrow, "Then what's with mahogany tables?"

"Why, that's a secret, Kuro-rin."

Kurogane huffed, "Fine, what do I have to do anyways?"

"Kuro-tan's the busboy."

"What?!"

"More like janitor, but you get the idea." Fai said happily. "We're low on workers; you, Chi, and myself are the only ones."

"Hey, if I'm the janitor, who are you two?"

"Chi's the cook and I'm the waiter." He said straightening his miniature red bowtie. **(1)**

"Waiter? Aren't you the owner or something?"

"Correct, but this way if a customer gets too rowdy or unpleasant, we can kick him to the curb without a middleman." Kurogane once again wondered how his new boss could smile so cheerfully while speaking of such violent and malicious things. "Plus, people show more respect towards the owner, their true personalities are shown when dealing with the underlings."

Kurogane had the distinct feeling that the word 'underlings' was directed at him. His eyes tried to glare a hole in the back of Fai's skull as the café owner went to change the 'closed' sign to 'open'; however the blonde seemed immune.

It was this moment that Chi chose to burst into the room, announcing she brought ice-cold chocolate milk for her hardworking nii-chan and Kuro-wawa.

"I'm not a dog," Kurogane grumbled, drinking it anyways. "This is good." He said staring incredulously at the glass; he looked up at the two, "_Why? _It's milk!"

"That's because it's made with love!" Fai said hugging Chi.

~~First Customer~~

The bell above the door rang. A girl stuck her head in, her gaze landing on Fai, who paused in his smirking at Kurogane to walk over. "Hello, miss. How may I help you?"

"Is this the new café they said was opening?"

"Indeed it is; would you like to come in?"

She smiled, "Yes, thank you."

"Sakura-chan!" **(2) **A winded boy appeared panting in the doorway, "Warn me–hah–before you–hah–run off–hah–like that."

"Syaoran! I was just checking out the new café."

"Hey, you got money, kid?"

Syaoran opened his mouth to reply to Kurogane when Fai cut-in. "Oh, don't mind Kuro-pon. You're our first customers. Order whatever you like; for you, it's on the house. Just make sure to tell everyone about us."

The brilliance of Sakura's pure, innocent smile nearly knocked Kurogane to the ground. "Thank you, I'll ask my brother to come later today."

Out of nowhere, Chi glomped Sakura, "You're so kawii!"

"Err, thank you?" **(3)**

Chi dragged her over to one of the barstools, "What do you want?"

"Oh, I don't want to take advantage of your kindness."

"Nonsense," she turned to Syaoran, "what would you like?"

"Umm, if you insist, I guess water."

Chi blinked, "…You two are the most unselfish people I have ever met." She shrugged, "Ah well, I'll decide myself."

After she went into the kitchen, Kurogane walked over to Fai. "As much as I don't want to give advice to such annoying boss, it'll be a problem later if I don't."

"Yay! Kuro-kunkun's going to share wisdom from his Fountain of Knowledge with me!"

"Shut up!" Kurogane huffed, "You are going to need to think about getting hired help in the future at some point. I've seen it happen during my seventeenth job and my third time as a bouncer. The place had too much business and not enough workers. People got impatient and the place took a nosedive. Only time I wasn't fired from a job."

"Aww, Kuro-black cares!"

"Shut up! I just don't want to deal with cranky patrons!"

"That does change the fact you think we'll get good business."

"Of course so if you keep attempting to seduce every female customer like you did that Sakura girl. Really, 'miss' and 'for you, it's on the house'? Next time you might even try to entice some poor _guy_."

Fai stepped so that their chests were inches apart and whispered alluringly into his employee's ear, "Are you sure that man would unfortunate, Kuro-sama?"

Kurogane scrambled away with the slightest blush dusting his cheeks, clutching an edge of a table for support, "Don't ever do that again!"

Ignoring his worker's distress, the blonde sauntered towards him. Stopping very close, Fai placed his hands on the mahogany wood on each side of Kurogane and leaned over him, "Are you sure about that?"

Kurogane was one shade of blushing away from declaring to Chi he was getting a restraining order on her brother but was prevented from doing so by their customers' compliments of her cooking.

Luckily, this also caused Fai to return over to the counter where Syaoran and Sakura thanked them both for the free food and left. "Why do I feel that those two are going to be the least strange to come here?" Chi commented.

"Because they already are."

"Aww, Kuro-kiwi, we're not strange; we're just different."

~~~Royalty~~~

Sakura burst into her home, dragging poor Syaoran along with her. "Oi, monster, don't barge in here like that. Are you trying to break land speed records running here?" Touya paused, "…again." Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. "Why is the brat here?"

"Me and Syaoran went to visit that new café, the Cat's Eye."

"That's open now is it?" Yukito asked.

"You bet, and since we were the first customers they gave us these absolutely delicious cakes! And there was this nice girl and-"

"Whoa, slow down there, monster."

Sakura took a deep breath, "I told them I'd bring you, so come on."

"You did what?"

"Ah, let's humor them. I've been waiting to go there when it opens."

"You just want to see how fast you can down their entire food supply."

Yukito smiled brightly, "Exactly."

Touya sighed, "Fine, I'll go."

"Yay!"

"But I'm not paying for all of you!" he turned to his best friend, "Especially for you and your bottomless stomach." Yukito only smiled.

"This better be worth it, monster." Touya said as they walked to the café **(4)**; it had been Syaoran who suggested that if he had been worried about everyone eating too much, that they should 'walk there to burn off some carbs'.

"Don't worry, it definitely is." She answered, pushing the door open.

"Welcome," Fai said turning towards the door, "Ah, Sakura, how are you?"

"Good,"

"And who might you two be?" Fai asked Touya and Yukito.

Yukito's face broke out into a mischievous smile, "This is his royal majesty Touya and I am his humble adviser, Yukito."

"You are _anything _but humble, and I told you not to stop with that." Touya growled.

"But it's so much fun to tease you!"

"Huh?" Kurogane asked bluntly.

Touya sighed and glared at his smiling 'adviser' "When we worked at a diner a customer mistaken me for some king I must look like. Ever since my dear friend here has taken to calling me that in _public_."

"And here I starting to think that Yukito kid was the least strange, guess I was right all along." Chi commented to no one in particular.

"Does that make the she-brat a princess?" Kurogane wondered aloud.

"It will be a pleasure to serve you, Sakura-hime." Fai said mock-bowing.

"Stop it with the royalty references already!"

"Ooh, if Sakura is a princess," Chi said smiling mischievously, "does that make Syaoran her royal consort?" The said two outshined the sun with the brilliance of the red now coloring their cheeks.

"Off with your heads, all of you!" Touya said, finally giving-in to the metaphor.

"Would his majesty and company like to be seated?" Kurogane had a massive feeling this was going to become a running joke. Great.

"Whatever." Touya said sulking a bit.

Fai offered a hand to Sakura, "May I escort you to your chair, hime?" She giggled and took his hand.

"You're in luck; we have just enough of these for you four." He said giving them each a fancy cream-colored menu with gold writing. After taking their orders, Fai left to give them to his sister.

"They sure have a kind waiter here." Yukito observed, "I wonder who the owner is." He turned to his friend, "What do you think, your majesty?"

Touya's eye twitched, "Well, _dear adviser_, there may be a way to find out."

"Huh? How's that, _your majesty_?"

"You're the last one I'd think would go along with that, brat."

Syaoran smirked but turned bright red after Touya had smiled maliciously and said that it may be because he liked being "monster's consort".

"Can we get back to the meeting the owner thing?"

"Sure thing, monster princess; since I've been lately 'low on the dough', I thought we could have another restaurant job; me and Yukito that is. This place can't run on only three people."

"Hyuu~, the king wants to work as a lowly servant?" Touya clutched his rapidly beating heart, that waiter had appeared out of nowhere! "I'll see what can be arranged." The blonde said, setting the food down, "Will that be all, your highnesses and adviser?"

Sakura giggled, "We're good."

Fai turned towards the potential employees, "Come back before opening to meet with the owner."

Yukito smiled, "We look forward to it."

* * *

**A/N: **This _was _going to be a group of interconnected one-shots, _but _it didn't turn out that way. The Great Story Spirits would not allow it. In the beginning the 'chapters' _can _be read individually…kinda. They're also a _bit _too short to separate in to chapters. That doesn't mean I won't have more than one chapter, just less of them…yeah. The 'interconnected one-shots' thing was a self-challenge I gave myself to write interconnected one-shots (which I epically failed at) as well as to not use, ahem, 'strong language' and to not use little up-carrots ^ to insert whole paragraphs in between words. Though that only works in Olive, my notebook, but whatever.

**1**: Fai and Kuro-pon are in their anime-Oto clothes; Chi's in Sakura's outfit, that's how I see them at least.

**2**: I'm warning you now, I'm not going to use 'Fangirl Japanese'; it's troublesome to write and with my slow typing, it ain't gonna work. Also, with a few exceptions, Kurogane is the only one who gets honorifics. Also, with a few exceptions, Kurogane will always have a different honorific each time Fai speaks the word 'Kuro'

**3**: Chi is enough years older than Sakura to see her as a cute little girl. Plus, when it comes to Sakura, everyone has a bit of a Tomoyo-complex.

**4**: Two things, 1) I didn't feel like using scene changes in here, deal with it; and 2) in case you didn't notice, I write a lot of dialogue, as I don't have paragraphs in Olive, it's a bit hard to tell if you'll have weird-looking typed pages. Plus, I like using the whole "person's way of speaking reveals who they are" thing, that's why I gave a polite way of speaking to, well you'll see…


	2. The Fall Of Free Will

**Teh Disclaimer:** I owns nothing. Not even my hands. They own me.

**Author's Note: **A random and useless fact vaguely related to the story, the reason why it's called Cat's Eye Galaxy is that there is this thing in space called the Cat's Eye Nebula. There is because of more than one thing. In Olive, I have more than one story being written, so I put impromptu titles to write at the top of the page to distinguish between them. But most of all, it is because I am an astronomy geek and I liked the sound of it.

This was deleted at the last minute from the top of chapter one, but basically all the countries of Tsubasa are on one world. For example: Celes is in the northern region of the world, while Oto is in a more temperate area and Nihon has a warmer climate. By the way, if you get uber confused, read the number-thingies. They are your friends. *nods solemnly*

Onward!

* * *

~Indentured Servant~

"This feels nostalgic." Touya said looking down at his uniform, "Too nostalgic; it's like the owner was spying on us or something."

"Cheer up, your majesty, I personally like it. It reminds me of the first time I called you that name."

"'_Reminds _you'? It shouldn't merely _remind _you, it's the same exact uniform! It even has that grease spot from when you-" Touya cut himself off blushing, "you know."** (1)**

Yukito smiled slyly, "No, I don't know, tell me."

"You know very well what I'm talking about!" his blush increased, "You're the one who did it!"

"If you mean lacing your cup, no; the 'only an apron' thing, however…"

"What?! Sakura said you laced the cup and that apron thing was her friend's idea!"

"I wasn't expecting you would have to do it too."

"You mean in that storage room…"

"You bet, but I had no idea it was a two-way thing. Though in the end the results quite nice."

"Knowing them it probably wasn't-hey! What do you mean 'the results were quite nice'?!"

"Hmm, I wonder where the owner is." Yukito said changing the subject.

"You wanted to meet the owner of this humble café?" Touya clutched his chest as Fai once again popped out of nowhere. "Well, if you're so interested;" he said smiling as he leaned back against the counter, "then I guess I'll have to tell you. Hold on, Kuro-wii! You missed a spot!"

Touya would bet everything he owned that the blonde only called the man over to build suspense. There was no spot, a fact angrily stated by the irritated janitor. "Ah well, must have imagined it." Fai turned back to the new workers, "Okay, the owner is-"

The door burst open as two males entered the café in a rather violent manner. Of course they didn't notice where they were; the two were a bit busy focusing on their fight. **(2)**

One of them had round-ish glasses and a sword, which he was using to parry blows from his opponent while at the same time, jumping back to avoid getting impaled by the other's attacks which were with what could only be described as elongated claws.

The young man attacked with enough force to, when the swordsman dodged it, cleanly slice through one of the wooden tables. The bespectacled one ducked under a swipe meant to behead him and aimed a slash at his opponent, missing and chopping through a barstool leg instead.

He barely moved from the claws' path in time, causing them to stick in the wood of another table. The swordsman had already started to make a slash at the other's undefended side. The one with slit-pupiled eyes tore out his claws and raised them above his head for a finishing blow.

Faster than he could notice, his wrist was caught in mid-air. No matter how hard he jerked, he could not break free. In addition to this, Fai had also forced the bespectacled fighter's hands down so his sword tip was pointed against the ground.

"I would appreciate it," he said in a low voice, "if you didn't disrespect my property by haphazardly ripping it apart as you please." He released them and then, in a complete change in attitude, smiled brightly and said "Okay?"

The two nodded slowly in unison. Touya and Yukito both gulped, their new boss can be scary when he wants to. Really, really scary.

"Who are you two? And you have a good reason for making all this mess _I_ have to clean up."

The younger-looking one, apparently back to normal as his eyes were no longer golden and slit-pupiled and his nails were normal length, turned to Kurogane, "I am Kamui and this utter and complete-"

"My name is Seishirou."

"I'm Fai; that's Kuro-pii; his majesty, Touya; and his royal advisor, Yukito." The blonde owner pointed to each one in turn and Touya once again said he was 'not a king, stop calling him that'.

"Now," Fai said putting his hands together, "since we're all acquainted, let's talk about damage cost." The two groaned while Fai merely smiled, "Today you start paying off the price of new flooring, two large mahogany tables, and a barstool."

"What?!" Kurogane exclaimed, "You're enslaving them too?!"

"I prefer the term 'indentured servant'."

"Whoa, I do _not_recall saying I would work for you!" Kamui complained, "Especially with that man!" he said pointing to Seishirou.

"Might I emphasize the 'mahogany' in 'large mahogany tables'?" Fai replied, smiling in a 'you don't have any choice whatsoever in the matter' manner. The already employed workers exchanged glances; Touya may be a king, but Fai was the one who delivered divine judgment.

Kurogane should have expected something like this when he saw Fai say he would 'forcefully remove excessively rude patrons' with a grin on his face. His boss continued, "If you do not wish to work in close proximity, then Seishirou can work at the bar and Kamui can help out in the kitchen with my little sister. Chi's quite the angel, I'm sure you'll get along."

Angel, indeed; Angel of Justice more like, if she's in any way similar to her brother.

Sensing the foreboding atmosphere and coming to the same conclusion, Kamui nearly backed out right then. Unfortunately, his pride would hear nothing of that. He had never _really _intended to not work there; he may act somewhat crude at times, but he was well-bred and raised as a gentleman. Though he disregards a _large_majority of his teachings, Kamui still honors his debts until every single yen **(3)** was paid back. However, he was now seriously rethinking his principles.

That didn't change the fact Kamui was now under the reign of Fai, and soon Chi as well. Needless to say, the others certainly didn't envy him in the least. "Fine, I shall do it; as long as I do not have to wear a ridiculous uniform."

"Yay! New employees! It's almost time to open, so get to work."

~~Earning Infamy~~

**(4a)**

"Try to take a piece of my cake again; this fork goes through your neck, creep."

"I love you too, dear." he leaned to the right to avoid the flung knife aimed at his head.

"I don't know why I even put up with you." She grumbled, stabbing at her food.

"Because we're soul mates, dearest. After all, we're having children."

Cake splattered all over his right lens and she pointed a piece of silverware threatening at his throat, "I dare you to call it that again." She growled.

"Stop brandishing a spoon at me, it's unbecoming of someone as beautiful as you." He said trying, but failing to completely succeed in wiping his glasses clean, "My dear." he added, replacing them.

"Creep." A knife suddenly embedded itself in the table where his was about to place his hand. "Thanks." She called over to its general direction of origin.

"Thank Kuro-pii, not me." a smiling blonde waiter said back, dodging a mop aimed at his head.

"This is a strange cafe." he commented on a dark-haired man chasing the lanky waiter, yelling death threats.

"You picked it, not me."

"I suppose so."

Yuuko looked down at her cake, "Hey! You ate it!"

Clow Reed only smirked.

**(4b)**

"Did you enjoy your food?" Yukito asked the two.

"Ah, yes. It was quite satisfying."

"Indeed, it was very good. What I could eat of it, that is;" she glared at Clow, "this creep kept stealing it."

Yukito laughed, "I'm glad to hear that. I'm sure Kamui would be too, that was the first cake he made himself." 'and without Chi's knowledge' he added mentally, hoping the younger Fluorite didn't find out and do something her brother might do to the vampire.

"I might like to meet him; he must be quite a natural."

The white-haired waiter sweatdropped, "I don't believe that's the smartest of ideas…"

"Ah well, nonetheless, the food was excellent. I'll definitely visit again."

"We appreciate it." After the two left, bickering like an old married couple, Yukito called clear across the entire place, "Your majesty! Dish duty!"

An affirmative "Off with your head!" answered back as Touya walked over muttering about 'conniving bipolar bosses'. Apparently Fai had neglected to mention their jobs as a waiter wasn't set in stone, because just as often they have to clean the tables.

Though the two most recent sla-, employees, seemed to have found their niche. Really Kamui was only suited for behind-the-scenes jobs as he wasn't a…_people-person_, but Seishirou made a superb bartender. This was best exhibited by the current situation.

A man at the bar **(5)**pushed his glass forward for a refill. However, when nothing happened he looked up to see Seishirou nonchalantly cleaning a spoon with a rag. "Hey, barkeep."

"Yes?" he said picking up another piece of silverware.

"My glass is empty."

"I am well aware of that."

"Then why isn't it being refilled?"

Seishirou sighed, stopping his cleaning to point with the utensil at a sign reading 'Patrons are not permitted to consume excessive amounts of alcohol'; under which was a taped sheet of paper, handwritten words reading 'Get drunk elsewhere' with a scribbled-out word that, if you squint and tilted your head, began with 'b' and ended in 'ds'.

"I have already overestimated your alcohol tolerance. No more for you."

The man slammed his fist down on the counter, "You can't do that!"

"Oh really?" The light reflected off Seishirou's glasses as he slowly spun the knife he had been previously cleaning around his fingers, "Do you wish to confirm the rumor that we keep a sword under the bar? Because," he stuck the knife down on the counter, leaning in close to say with a predatory smile, "I assure you, I'm quite skilled in the wielding of a blade a bit more dangerous than a butter knife."

The poor man scrambled away and Seishirou smiled brightly at him, saying cheerfully as he rushed out the door, "Have a nice hangover!"

Fai walked up to him, "As much as I appreciate you ridding us of that almost-drunk. I'll have to charge you for damaging my property." Seishirou followed his pointed gaze to the knife's tip embedded in the wood, "…again."

Seishirou smiled maliciously, "I don't care, it was worth the look on his face."

The bell over the door rang, and a bespectacled young man entered, looked around, and then muttered something that sounded like "She _would _like this place."

A girl walked up to him, "Umm, hello. Are you here to eat something? Or are you meeting a friend?"

"I came here on a…recommendation; so I guess I'm here to get something."

The girl smiled, "That's great! I'll find you a seat." She said, taking his hand to drag him to an empty table. "I'm Sakura, by the way."

"Umm, Watanuki. Err, aren't you a little young to have a job? That's illegal some places, you know." Not that something as trivial as the _law _would stop _his _employer from forcing him into unpaid service.

Sakura laughed, "No, I don't work here, but my brother and his friend do."

"Who's this, hime?" Fai asked, using his amazing ability to pop out of absolutely nowhere to scare the wits out of the poor boy.

"Oh, this is Watanuki; I was going to get him to a table since everyone's busy and all."

"Thank you, could you continue, please? You were right; we're a bit shorthanded at the moment. We really need to expand." He said the last part almost to himself.

"O-okay." She answered, but Fai had already left.

Watanuki glanced around at the customers talking, laughing, some were even showing off. It was right about the time he heard a 'your majesty' followed by an 'off with your head, _dear_advisor' and a man wearing goggles entered saying that this was a café worthy of his Primera that Watanuki realized why Yuuko had ordered him there. It was truly a place after her own heart.

And he had just been sucked into it. At least Doumeki wasn't there.

* * *

**A/N: **Big-ish News! Cat's Eye Galaxy has entered its 60th notebook page! I have a lot of it still planned out, but I've been too lazy to type-up _anything, _plus I've been working on a so far 40 page purely drama fic. On loose leaf! I need a separate binder for it! It's strange how I can juggle a story with really no actual humor in it, a story with no drama in it, _and _school. X_X I have no life.

**1**: Despite there being a 'bad word ban' on this fic, there is **not **a ruling out of implications. Lack of dirty words does not prohibit unclean thoughts. Nothing bad, but I prefer ten year olds not get a hold of it. Because I toe the line like a drunk! *big smile*

**2**: Told ya this wasn't your normal AU. Be warned, I suck at fight scenes. Especially using only pronouns.

**3**: Since Oto uses yen, I'll have that as the universal currency. So, no, I am not trying to imitate Japanese culture like some worthless idiot. Oh, and Kamui _is _in fact nobility. Because it's practically an unstated fact in my opinion.

**4a**:I know there are only pronouns up to a certain point, it's meant to be that way for effect on the notebook paper page. There is a special reason for this, thus I'm keeping it in its exact original format, grammar errors and all. So don't complain about this part's correctness. Or any parts correctness for that matter.

**4b**:This reason is –drumroll— this section was what inspired me to write this entire fic. So thank the smirking creep, it's his fault. By the way, the format looked perfect written on paper. If it's any consolation, it drove my proofreader insane and she kept trying to pull an Inkheart: What's changed on the paper is changed on the screen.

**5**: No, I _don't _know who he is; I never thought up a character to go with him. In that case, pick your favorite potentially mean drunk from any CLAMP-dom and insert him here. Also, let's ignore the canon-Oto's 'bar, no kiddies' rule, shall we?

Anyways, I know I said last chapter I would give a polite way of speaking to someone; however, it **definitely** be in the next chapter. By the way, the last chapter, as well as this one, is seven pages _typed. _Think how many written pages that is! ('Cause I'm too lazy to count.)

By the way, if you review to point out errors, make sure they're of critical importance and not junk like "you made an extra/forgot a space". It annoys me to see people only using their reviews for the sole purpose of nitpicking grammar errors, such as comma usage in compound-complex sentence structure, which not even the computer picks-up. That's just about _other_ people's stories. If you write a review just to tell me I have slightly awkward wording, I will _**find**_ you.

Okay, rant over.


	3. Sibling Rivalry

**Disclaimer-ness:** CLAMP pwns all, thus owns all.

**Author's Note:** I'm warnin' now, I try my best to keep me in-fanfiction timelines straight for days of weeks and all, but it won't always turn out good. I also shy away from larger sized paragraphs; mainly because they sorta tired out the eye meaning a key piece of info could be missed.

As a fanfiction writer for the works of CLAMP I feel it is my duty to inform my dear readers that there **will **be shounen-ai in this fic as that is a major part of many of the CLAMP-doms here. Never fear most will only be the canon ones and _vague_ implications; but, like all of this fanfic, it will be humorous. And if you haven't figured out by now, as I've included it throughout every chapter, get ready to flex your vocabulary, people!

Onward!

* * *

~Sibling Rivalry~

At the end of the day, they gathered around Fai as he read out the week's earnings. "Okay, this is Yukito's paycheck," he handed it to him. "This is his majesty's" he held it up but didn't give it to Touya, "There is also money I owe Sakura for helping me out. If you do not give it to her, I will know." The king felt a sense of foreboding, "And you will not be the only one to profit from your tips."

Touya nodded and left, muttering under his breath what sounded like "Jekyll… Hyde…no way in…meet…and stormy night." which was accompanied by a few shivers. **(1)**

Fai smiled brightly at the remaining vict-, workers, and then looked back down at the earnings list. "Now, after countless years of on-and-off jobs with bad pay, Kuro-kunkun is officially halfway debt-free!"

He grinned at him, but Kurogane felt a definite 'you will still belong to me for a long time to come, debtor' air from the blonde. He was seriously worried his boss was part-demon.

Looking back at paper, Fai continued, "The indentured servants earned just enough money to for a new barstool; however, nothing towards the mahogany furniture or flooring. There will be more expenses added for the damage done to the oak countertop when Seishirou pulled that stunt with the knife to scare off a customer. As well as the replacement of the mahogany chair Kamui dug his claws into just now when I mentioned the tables."

Behind him, Kamui stiffened and carefully extracted his nails from the wood.

The words 'All knowing', 'All seeing', and 'All demon' passed through each of the heads of Seishirou, Kamui, and Kurogane respectively.

They simultaneously felt their freedom dissolve and disperse throughout the air. To be breathed in by the malicious deity taken human form who lured them and caught them in his inescapable trap for all of time.

Fai looked up after skimming down the sheet, "You three still here? Do you want overtime or something?"

The employees' shadows lingered for a moment or two, too slow to accompany their masters, as the three, erm, _exited_ at the mention of staying in a dark, deserted café in the middle of the night with their merciless overseer of a boss.

Fai shrugged and flipped the 'open' sign to 'closed'.

On Monday morning, Touya had told Sakura that she and the brat should come with him and Yukito to work. His reason was that they could earn a buck or two setting up shop. It had absolutely nothing to do with the term 'safety in numbers'.

When the four had entered, and after five minutes no screams were heard, the debtors also reported in. It was about mid-day when someone finally asked Kurogane about the owner.

"Oh yes, I've wondered as to the credibility of those rumors." Clow Reed amended to Watanuki's attempted comparison to his own boss.

"Ooh, definitely. Does he really have deep black eyes that steal your soul and devours the flesh of those who defy him?" Himawari asked.

Kurogane opened his mouth to say that wasn't far from the truth, when Fai appeared from nowhere and said, "Goody! Kuro-pan storytime! So, what _do _you think of the boss?" The 'choose your words carefully' gleam in his eye would send shivers down the spine of the most hardened of men.

"Bah. Like I care."

Fai's mouth may had said, "Aww, you're no fun Kuro-kii!" but his eyes spoke something else altogether; before Kurogane could depict exactly what, there was a bit of commotion from inside the kitchen that soon made itself apparent.

Seishirou backed out of its door with his hands held up in front of him, waving them slightly as Kamui followed glaring and poking him in the chest with a slightly-longer-than-normal nail.

"Do you know how much that coffee machine was worth? Do you wonder the cost of repairing or even _replacing_ that stove?" Seishirou gulped and glanced in the general direction of Fai, who was looking interestedly at them.

The patrons, however, had other ideas.

"I've never seen that one before. Hey Shougo, you think that's the man-eating shop owner?" the pop star Primera asked her boyfriend.

"Must be; I mean, his eyes are gold and slit-pupiled. See, his nails are even lengthening into claws." He answered. **(2)**

That Kamui was owner was a perfectly logical assumption. That was until, "This is entirely your fault! If you had not come into this place we, I, would have not been enslaved to an evil overlord for all eternity!"

"…Guess not." Shougo amended wondering who could invoke such a reaction from such a tough-looking guy.

"Huh, 'enslaved to an evil overlord for all eternity', that's a new one. Don't you think your majesty?" Yukito asked Touya.

"Nah. Too close to the 'indentured forevermore under a demonic overseer' from last week."

"Yes, I suppose so." All the nearby customers sweatdropped.

"Hey, it wasn't _completely _my fault."

"Don't you go pinning this on me!" the aristocrat's claws grew longer.

"Now, now, you know violence is prohibited by the owner."

"I do not care." Kamui said raising his right hand above his head, "Even if I must work here for a hundred years to come, it shall be made all worthwhile by the feeling of your flesh ripping beneath my fingers."

His claws swooped downward but were halted in their descent an inch above Seishirou's forehead by a pair of arms wrapping around Kamui's body and pulling him against their owner's chest, a man with small orange-tinged oval sunglasses, "That's not very nice Kamu-chan, please don't kill my nii-san."

Kamui struggled in his captor's grip, "Let me go! Fuuma, you worthless jerk! Release me!"

"Now why would I want to do that?" he said hugging the vampire closer, "Out of all the priceless items I've searched for, you're the only true treasure."

"Was that suppose to be some screwed-up pick-up line, you twisted creep?!"

At a nearby table Yuuko said without even turning to Clow, "If you are going to say anything with the words 'first meeting' or any form of the word 'dear', don't even bother opening your mouth." He only laughed.

A person who looked strikingly similar to Kamui walked over to where the, ahem, 'struggle for dominance' was taking place. "Hello Subaru-kun, I haven't seen you for a while. How've you been?" Seishirou greeted.

"I am doing well; and you?"

Seishirou grinned, "Same as ever."

Subaru laughed lightly, "So it seems. Always getting into trouble, what misfortune have you brought upon yourself this time?"

"I've been-"

"Oi! Barkeep! Get the heck away from Subaru and extract your annoying little brother from my person!"

"No, I think I prefer you like this. Much less dangerous."

"Why you- when I get free, I shall cut you down where you stand!"

"I have no intention of letting you to escape, Kamu-chan."

"Do not call me that!"

Now, as a bouncer at a restaurant with a law against violence that's enforced from a distance, this was as close to a fight Kurogane was going to get. However, it was far too entertaining and the assessing look in Fai's eyes discouraged him from taking a single step closer to the blonde.

Though it turned out he needn't do a thing, because Fai had decided to emerge from the shadows to give his two workers a heart attack. "May I help you gentlemen?"

"Oh, we heard that our older brothers were in the area, so Subaru and myself decided to see if they were nearby." Fuuma said squeezing Kamui closer.

"Oh, then I assume you know of their situations?"

Seishirou made a frantic slashing motion across his throat with his hand, but it was too late, Fuuma had asked the fateful question, "Situations?"

~~A Brother's Love~~

Fuuma should have never opened his mouth. Of course he had no way of knowing why that was; however Fai had said he'd tell them the details a bit later, as they were a tad busy at the moment. He again grumbled about expanding and clairvoyant doggies, and then smiled brightly, "Please stay awhile. I'm sure you'll love Chi's coffee."

"But I don't have any money. I'm broke."

"Indeed, I too, possess no means to reimburse you for your services. I fear I spent all I had on my person for my train ticket."

"Then how are you getting back?" Seishirou asked, wondering if he could give Subaru a ride if it proved true he did not have a quicker way home than walking.

"Do not fret, Seishirou-san, it is for a round-trip."

"Good, I don't want you out alone at night with all the demon-angel hybrids around." The barkeeper muttered under his breath.

"Huh?"

"Oh don't worry; we'll put it on a tab." Fai said.

Seishirou's eyes widened when Fuuma replied happily, "Perfect!"

Kamui, however, tried to head his twin off before Subaru could do something irreversible, "No, wait-"

"Yes... I suppose that is agreeable." Subaru said somewhat uncomfortable; it was against his nature not to pay when he should.

"Excellent, now if you would step this way," Fai said leading them to a corner table, "I'm sorry, this is the only place left. I hope you don't mind a bit of seclusion. Again, you have my apologies."

"There is no need, this location is quite satisfactory. I understand we came at a busy time." Subaru now addressed Seishirou, "Would it be too much of a bother if I borrow your brother for a moment or two? I assure you, it shall not take long."

"Go ahead, Kamui and I have other matters to attend to anyways."

"Yes, rid me of him."

"That's not very nice, Kamu-chan."

"Oi, hands to yourself!"

Seishirou smiled at Subaru, "I think those two are fun to watch, don't you?"

"I suppose so."

Seishirou sighed, "You're so introverted, you need to speak up more;" he placed a hand on Subaru's shoulder, "you can't just quietly agree with everyone you know. You're far too humble for your heritage."

"Hey, same with you! Keep your mitts off my brother, creep!"

"I guess we should go, have fun with Fuu-doo."

"Nii-san~, don't call me that!"

Seishirou smirked, "What? You used to love when I called you that."

"When I was _five_! I'm way older now!"

"Ah, but you'll always be my cute baby brother."

Kamui twisted free of his captor's arms while Fuuma was distracted and put an extremely sizable distance between himself and the treasure hunter.

"Ah man," Fuuma groaned, "this is all your fault, nii-san!" he said pouting.

"This is one of the reasons why I act like you're five, because _you_ act like you're five."

"That's a low blow! Just because I like apple juice-"

Kamui walked sulkily back to the kitchen, hoping Chi's ordering him around would distract him long enough to calm down, at least to not disembowel Seishirou. She had that strange effect on people; that is probably why his boss did not become psychotic when she was present.

He just hoped she did not let her maniacal brother know about the _exact _extent of the damage inflicted upon the kitchenware. The vampire shivered at the thought and entered the domain of Chi Fluorite.

"You forgot your…_fondness_ for jumbo glue sticks."

Fuuma blushed indignantly, "T-That isn't relevant-!"

"Yes it is."

"Whatever. Go away;" he said sulkily, "apparently I have matters to discuss with your boyfriend."

Seishirou and Subaru both turned an immaculate shade of red.

"What?!"

"_Pardon?!_"

Fuuma smirked, but then also blushed embarrassedly when his brother slyly said, "Okay, I'll go. I might even stop by the kitchen to _speak_ with _your_ boyfriend as well." He let out a foreboding cackle as he walked away.

"S-Seishirou-san!" Subaru called at the retreating back of his lov-very close friend, "Are you not going to deny the claim of your brother?" However, Seishirou seemed to not have heard; though Fuuma could swear up, down, and in a loop that he saw a mischievous smile on his older brother's face.

Now that the older siblings were out of earshot, and range of vision, given their dim location, Subaru stood and walked around the table to stand in front of the seated Fuuma.

"Now," somehow Subaru's current aura reminded Fuuma of when Seishirou had told him Subaru can be pretty scary when he truly wanted to be so. Talk about a mood swing. "I have observed of late that you employ actions upon my brother similar to that of displays of affection."

His eyes changed and his nails on his right hand grew into long, curved, deadly spears, "I shall not question why you choose to enact those particular methods and shall only ask but one answer of you. However," he reached out with a single lethally sharp claw, its point threatening to pierce the vulnerable underside of Fuuma's chin.

The treasure hunter leaned away slightly, back hitting the wall beside his chair. No wonder Subaru called this place 'quite satisfactory'. "My inquiry is to be replied to with the upmost honesty. Pray that you give the correct response. For if you do not, or I detect you speak a falsehood, the consequences shall be," he scratched a small line of along the junction of Fuuma's head and throat, "severe."

Fuuma wondered how one could speak in such a sophisticated manner with the aura of a deranged butcher.

"Do you understand?" Fuuma noted the irony he knew was somewhere in this and nodded; though thoroughly regretting it when the menacing tip of Subaru's nail dug into his chin. **(3)**

"Very good. Tell me, do you have feelings that are more than platonic towards my brother?"

Fuuma couldn't resist saying, "And here I thought _I _was the one who has to protect my brother from one of you twins."

This was a Bad Idea.

Claws flew to his neck and pressed slightly into his jugulars, causing a small bead of blood drip down on each side. "Thin ice is best not trampled upon." The vampire warned in a dangerous voice. "It is in the greatest interest of your well-being if the next words spoken from your lips are the answer to my question."

Fuuma uneasily glanced to the left side of his throat when he felt the remainder of the younger twin's lethal knives came to rest on the perilously exposed area of his neck. The treasure hunter gulped nervously and turned his gaze back onto the feral aristocrat, realizing where the irony was.

Subaru narrowed his catlike eyes and continued, "Less you desire the result of this encounter to be the granting of my twin's wish to rip out your throat, carve out your heart, and place your head upon a stake. In that order."

Fuuma couldn't help but hope that such a violent threat wasn't the elder vampire's Wish; he blinked, where did that come from? However, his thoughts returned quite quickly to the quite frightening matter at hand. "This is the final time I shall say this. Are you in any way attracted to Kamui?"

Fuuma was _so_ close to commenting that it was just like Kamui to have such creative plans for killing, but his sense of self-preservation forced him to instead say, "Absolutely, your brother is hot and fun to tease."

Fuuma's sense of self-preservation happens to be rather hypocritical.

So of course he fully expected Subaru to send his nails straight through his neck for putting it that way. However, the deadly spears retracted from his throat; and though his neck wasn't in _immediate _danger, Subaru's eyes remained golden and slit-pupiled.

"I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of my brother's affection. Nevertheless, if you happen to succeed in your attempt and then so choose to break Kamui's heart, without hesitation I shall rip out your own. Do we have an understanding, Fuuma?"

Fuuma gulped, "Indeed."

Subaru's eyes turned back from sinister gold to the original vibrant green. He then said in a tone far more happy than one should possess after having the World's Scariest Brother-Complex Episode, "Let us go see what the others are doing."

Fuuma sweatdropped but took it all in stride. Though not before briefly lamenting about he and his brother's choice in attractive nobles and resolving to shop for diamond-plated turtlenecks. "Yeah, I've been wondering why Kamu-chan called nii-san 'barkeep'."

Apparently the reason Kamui had called Seishirou this name was quite literal. "Wow nii-san, you have truly exceeded my expectations. Bartender, eh?"

Seishirou glared at his smirking little brother, "Shut up." He growled cleaning a glass cup.

"I might become a regular, if only to see you like this."

"I repeat. Shut up."

"Seishirou-san, would you happen to possess insight upon the whereabouts of my brother? I have searched the café's entirety, but I have yet to see him."

"In fact, I do. Kamui's job is in the kitchen."

Subaru chuckled, "Yes, I suppose he is not a people-person, is he? Not like you, Seishirou-san."

"Oh my- dear all matters of luck and fate, are you _flirting_ with that imbecile?!" Kamui stood staring at the two incredulously.

"What brings you out, Kamu-chan?"

Kamui scowled "If you _must _know, I was here to tell _you_" he directed towards the barkeeper, "that the Royal Court is having a, quote, 'get-together' so a good many customers left soon after."

"It makes one wonder how popular they really are." Seishirou commented distractedly under his breath, sounding like he was merely thinking aloud.

"And the…owner" Kamui said this particular part cautiously, carefully choosing his words so not to arouse any suspicion of the horrific truth occurring behind the scenes of the café. He did not want Fai to hire an assassin if it comes to the bipolar demon's attention that there was a leak; he had no desire to see Subaru near-death or worst in a hospital. Though neither of the younger brothers seemed to have noticed, "said we are to close early."

Then Kamui sneered at Fuuma, "However, if I had known this idiot was here, I would asked Chi to come in my stead. Then I would not have had the utter misfortune to witness my only brother _flirt _with a creep like Seishirou."

Aforementioned creep looked over his glasses at the vampire, "I'm right here you know."

"That is precisely why I said it."

Subaru had blinked at the term 'Royal Court' and Fuuma asked, "Who's Chi?"

"My little sister." Fai said, yet again, spontaneously emerging from the shadows.

Kamui clutched his heart and the counter he was now flattened against the edge of, as Fai had chosen to appear to his _immediate_ right. When he had loosened his grip Seishirou inspected the wood carefully, hoping to find some repair damage to pin on Kamui, but sadly found none.

"She's the chef, while Kamui helps as her assistant. I'm the head waiter, by the way." Fai waved vaguely in the general direction of Kurogane. "Kuro-pu's the janitor." He added in afterthought.

The aforementioned man angrily stomped over to growl "I resent that."

Subaru looked between them all, "May I inquire upon the basis of your employment at this establishment? My motive of query being your actions present quite evident your blatant aversion to being in such a position. In addition, I am somewhat puzzled by an aspect of my brother's previous words. What is the nature of your interactions with this 'Royal Court'?"

"That's easy!" Fai said happily, "They're paying off debts."

"Why? What'd they do? Nii-san didn't deflagrate your lovely lodgings, did he?"

"That was once, and it was only a small house fire!"

"Yeah, in our parents' room conveniently two hours after mom caught you lying about choppin' down the cherry blossom tree. It made lovely firewood, by the way."

"It very well deserved it and you know it! If I hadn't, you would."

"That's true, but mom had really liked its flowers."

"Tch, she'd called them pretty, I called them creepy. Remember how it bloomed year-round? Normal plants do _not_ do that!"

"Ha, you were just freaked-out at what that girl Hokuto said about body-sucking sakura trees."

"Who could blame me? The petals were crimson half the time. And you have no room to talk; you wouldn't get within a seven meter radius of the thing."

"I was _five_."

"And I was eight."

"Yeah, how _did_ you decapitate it with those skinny little kid arms you have?"

"That, my dear baby brother, I intend to take to the grave."

"You about did, Mom looked set to kill."

"Yeah, well she got over it. She'd always cared more about her camellias more."

"Ah, but she wasn't so quick to forget the _fire_."

"I was _eight_."

Fai laughed at the two brothers'…_recollections_ and said, "No, they merely damaged and destroyed some of the furniture and a few appliances. The expensive ones."

Subaru smiled faintly, "Yes, it is not difficult to imagine Kamui doing such a thing." But then his eyebrows furrowed, "You say my brother accumulated a rather heavy debt, correct?"

Kamui, knowing his twin's personality, tried to halt the conversation from reaching its destination, especially when he saw the Owner Look in Fai's eyes when the blonde had nodded; however it was not meant to be, "N-!"

"If even the slightest possibility exists for me to assist in the reduction of his payment, I shall be delighted to do so."

"Excellent, I'll inform the owner. We're planning on expanding and we'll need a bit more staff." Luckily Fai had decided to stay Fai and had not revealed the man-eating slave driver that was his true self.

"Well, have fun with that." Fuuma said, standing up to leave; intending on taunting his enslaved sibling later. That was until two hands belonging to Kurogane and Seishirou shot out and latched onto each of his arms.

"Now where do you think you're going, _dear_ little brother?" Seishirou asked softly with a sugary smile.

"Yes," Kurogane agreed, "don't you want to help out your family?"

"Sure he does!" Fai said happily.

"I do?"

"Yes, you do." The bipolar café owner said sinisterly with a menacingly foreboding smile.

Fuuma could now officially join the 'Scary Demon-Angel Hybrid Controlling My Life' club.

~~~What You Cannot Choose~~~

Subaru, who was blissfully ignorant of the blonde's malevolent intentions, said, "I am afraid you did not respond to my inquiry pertaining to the 'Royal Court'."

"That's right, my apologies. Yukito, the waiter with whitish hair, calls Touya, the dark-haired one, 'your majesty' and himself the advisor due to a previous job experience working at a diner. We were so taken by it, his family and their close friends were bestowed titles as well. As long as you take it in stride, you'll be fine."

"What odd employees." Subaru then realized how negative and a bit insulting that sounded and promptly started turning slightly red and said flustered, "I-I mean-"

"Our customers are even stranger." Fai said grinning, "And don't worry, we know you meant no offense by it."

"I, however, do, when I say I absolutely agree with the courtier-kid. This place is completely screwed-up."

"Aww, Kuro-kun, that's not very nice!"

"You do know that you're calling yourself that too." Fuuma said lifting an eyebrow which the janitor returned.

"I leveled three-quarters of the You-ou estate and put fourteen people in the hospital in the space of nine minutes, unassisted, when I was _eight_. No amount of pride can deny I'm not in the least average. Though the longer I work here, the more I think I'm normal." He finished grumbling.

Subaru had a confused look on his face, "Excuse me, 'Kuro-san', correct?"

Kurogane shot an acid glare at Fai, who could barely stifle his laughs, for leading the naïve vampire to the conclusion that 'Kuro-something' was his name, "It's Kurogane, actually."

"My apologies, Kurogane; be it as it may, I am quite curious as to why you referred to me as, I believe it was, 'courtier-kid'. May I inquire the purpose behind your choice of words?'

"Huh? Oh, I guess it's because you give off a very aristocratic vibe. You act in a refined way and you have really sophisticated way of speaking. It reminds me of my grandmother," The bouncer shivered, "except without the 'death or obedience' aura she has when she's challenged."

Fuuma scoffed.

"She's the reason I took a job so far from home." Kurogane then grumbled, "Could do with a few more gigaparsecs though."

Fuuma gave him a weird look, "Giga-whats?"

"Astronomical unit of measurement, biggest one there is; 3.262 billion light-years; one-fourteenth the distance to the observable edge of the universe; no matter how you say it, it's still not far enough."

"Ah."

"Forgive me then, Kurogane, it appears I was mistaken."

Kurogane gave him a questioning look, "About what?"

A smile slowly spread across Seishirou's lips, "Ah, Subaru-kun must be referring to the twins being-" In an uncharacteristic move, Kamui rushed over to cover the barkeeper's mouth, nearly knocking Seishirou's glasses clear off his face.

"-nobility." Fuuma finished for him. The eldest vampire sent a glare that could vaporize at the smirking man.

"That would explain some things."

"However we are lords in title alone, nothing more. So don't get any ideas, you bipol-blonde idiot."

The ever-foreboding gleam had risen in Fai's eyes and he said in a deceptively cheerful way, "The titles are still there though. So for now on you are His Most Honorable Marquess Kamui and-"

"Oi! Don't demote me! We are dukes, if you _must_ pull this kind of thing, at least do it right!"

"-His Grace Duke Subaru-kun." Seishirou finished smirking while cleaning the smudges off his lenses; replacing them he added, "Sorry, your lordship, you spoke too late."

"Hey! You already knew my rank, do not call me that!"

"Huh, well it seems to me he took to his lessons only half as badly as me." Kurogane commented.

This prompted Fuuma to ask, "What do you m-?"

"My apologies, Lord Sumeragi." Seishirou said slyly, the light reflecting off his glasses.

The barkeeper smirked when Kamui blinked, mouth open, frozen mid-rant. "Wha?"

The janitor smiled a little at the irony, "That would _definitely_ explain some things."

Fai let some confusion show slightly, "Kuro-chan, could you shed light upon this for me?"

The janitor crossed his arms and leaned back against the back of a chair, closing his eyes as if trying to recall long-forgotten facts, "The Sumeragi are well-known ancient nobility among those of high upbringing; very rich, very mysterious. The vampire thing clears up that up quite a bit. They're said to be rather pretty." He opened his eyes, "They prefer to remain as mysterious as possible as well. Kamui has good reason to be surprised."

Though from the look in the eyes of Fuuma and Seishirou, they'd known since the first time they saw the twins. "How did you know that?!" Kamui asked astonished.

Seishirou ignored it and instead said, "If we're handing out titles, then what am I?"

"A lowly peasant." The vampire hissed acidly.

Kurogane eyebrows furrowed, "But the only other ones who would have a vague idea what a member of the Sumeragi looks like…"

The bouncer facepalmed, "Why is it _always_ like this here?!"

"What do you mean? Who are 'the only other ones that know what a Sumeragi looks like'?"

Kurogane huffed, "The Sakurazuka; not nobility, but equally rich, equally mysterious, and thought to be equally attractive. They must have incredible luck; they love to gamble; betting left and right. They probably cheat. "

"What's so bad about them being together? And if they're so rich, why didn't pay up front?" the owner asked, though he sounded a bit sulky by the end of his sentence.

"They may have a, to put it lightly, bitter rivalry, but both families, like every high-class family south of Jade, were brought up to not believe in paying off the owner of property they themselves damaged. We have to work it off." He said the last part a little grumpily.

"Aww, Kamu-chan, you think I'm a lowly peasant."

"No, you are worse. You are a-"

Subaru covered his brother's mouth before he said something that would expand a few vocabularies.

Kurogane didn't seem to notice the youngest twin had started to pay attention to his words, "As for what's so bad about it, there was some long ago love tragedy. I once read a story written about it, I think it began 'Two houses, both alike in dignity, in fair Tokyo, where we lay our scene' or something."

"You seem well-versed in a history you say is exclusive to ancient nobility, Kuro-poo."

"Tch, common knowledge if you chose to hide out in the library over attending Grandma's insomnia-curing lectures." Then he smiled smugly, "Last place they'd think to look."

A mischievous grin split Fai's face, "I didn't know you had noble heritage. What's your title?"

Kurogane looked thoughtfully at the ceiling, trying to recall the half-heard family history lessons of long ago, "Okay, Dad's a margrave, so that gets me the rank of…an earl, right?"

He looked at Subaru for confirmation, who nodded and said, "Yes, I believe that is accurate** (4)**. I knew the name You-ou sounded familiar, you are from Nihon, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, half the staff is really high-bred."

"Nii-san, you make it sound like we're dogs." Fuuma commented bluntly, then said "Hey, isn't Fluorite the name of the Celestial roya-" Seishirou shut his brother up with an acute look.

"That's not something I would like to find out too soon," he whispered sharply, "Do you _really _want to know if he's descended from some draconian tyrant of ancient times or something?"

Subaru, this having gone completely over his cute little head, said, "When you think about it, everyone probably possess someone of high-standing in their family."

Fai smiled, "You're absolutely correct, I bet even his majesty had a king on his tree somewhere down the line. Anyways, since we're expanding I need you as a waiter. Plus, I'm sure the patrons will love you."

"I bet they will." Seishirou muttered darkly under his breath.

Kamui got a strong feeling that their boss had planned on this the second he laid eyes on his gullible, defenseless brother. (Unless you are Fuuma) Of course that demon would single-out and manipulate the youngest of their midst into working at this elaborate trap of a restaurant. Fai _knew_ Subaru would not turn a blind eye to Kamui's indentured state; he was far too polite and kind. (Unless you are Fuuma)

"Fuuma can help his lordship in the kitchen as Chi will most likely be scoping out a new site for the Cat's Eye in my place."

Subaru momentarily considered questioning why Fai would send the chef to search for a new café location in the stead of the head waiter. Was not that the owner's job? However, he merely dismissed it as insignificant.

"What?!" Kamui exclaimed, "you are leaving us in an isolated room so he can molest me?!"

"You will start tomorrow." Fai replied smiling.

* * *

**A/N:** Kamui's dialect is rather hard to express, it's a mixture of Subaru and Kurogane. Think aristocratic upbringing plus short temper. Like stated in chapter two, he was raised as a gentleman but disregards most of his teachings, basically all that remains is the morals and _some_ of the way of speaking. Without the crude language, Kamui is just as polite as Subaru……in theory. Plus, I love writing eminent speech and hot-tempered dialogue.

**1**: For anyone who's wondering, Touya had said "He's like Jekyll and Hyde, no way in hell I'd want to meet him in an alley on a dark and stormy night."

**2**: Don't you just love how none of the customers freak-out at Kamui's appearance? Yeah…let's pretend everyone just takes it in stride. After all, I'm sure with all the countries in one place, it's not **that** strange.

**3**: You would think more people would mention the dangers of nodding with a sharp object of any kind pointed at their throat. Speaking of throat, I apologize for the long period of alternating use of 'neck' and 'throat'; despite the practical slaughter of my thesaurus through overuse working on the story, I was at loss for synonyms for those two words that fit the context.

**4**: The exact workings of this status thing are something you'll have to wiki. Basically a duke is a rank higher than a marquess and two ranks above a margrave; Kurogane is still an heir-apparent as his father's not dead in here, so he gets the next highest rank to his father's title, which is earl; everything after duke can be addressed as 'my lord' or 'your lordship', but a duke is addressed to as 'your grace', thus Kamui reaction to being called 'lordship' by Seishirou.

Many things written here are deeply connected to the canon; some so much so, it is n00b-ish to leave them out; but seem strange or awkward in context. Like Subaru and Seishirou's use of honorifics in reference to each other alone and that mention of wish-granting to Fuuma. Just think of those out of place stuff as allusions, 'cause they usually are.


	4. The Café Grows

**Disclaimer: **I split my time writing this story between looking at my notebook every half second, checking the good ole Webster, surfing Wiktionary, searching Mangafox, running to my room to check canon, and typing. Do you seriously believe for a nanosecond I could write anything vaguely CLAMP-tastic?

**Author's Note: **I forgot to mention last time, but I had to split 'A Brother's Love' into two parts because it was _so_ long. Oh, and Chapter Three was like one thousand words more than both Chapter One and Chapter Two _combined_. Yeah, my hand will just go die now.

Am I right in assuming that nobody reads the Author's Notes? Well, if anyone is, I challenge thee to predict the contents of a sub-chapter-thingie by its title alone, some are obvious, others, not so much. Good luck~

Onward!

* * *

~New Recruits, New Location…New Experiences~

The Cat's Eye Café is an extremely busy place indeed. So it was logical they needed more space; and the only way of accomplishing this was to find it. That did not stop Kamui from protesting greatly to the arrangement established before the younger Fluorite's departure.

In fact, the aristocrat was so displeased; he had even degraded himself to begging on bended knee for Chi not to go in front of a thoroughly packed café. That was until Fuuma had smiled, picked Kamui up by the waist, and dragged him kicking and screaming back into the kitchen.

Though, the Royal Court had initially been more than a little surprised at first at the new workers, and despite Touya muttering for an hour and a half variations of the phrase 'sadistic schizophrenic überboss', Sakura and Syaoran were volunteered to be the first ones Subaru served. It was so he could get the hang of it and they could get to know each other better.

At least that was the reason Seishirou gave when he'd suggested it to Fai and Touya when Sakura complained neither Touya _nor _Yukito could always serve their table. Plus, she had brought her best friend Tomoyo and wanted to introduce her to Chi, and that her brother would only get in the way of the fun.

Fai'd inquired the details on this 'fun' but Sakura had just giggled.

"Do they know yet that you foisted Subaru upon them?" Touya asked sulkily.

"No, but we can tell them now; they just walked in." Fai said, "Kuro-pom, can you ask the princess to come here?"

Kurogane glared, "Fine." He poked a passing blue-haired boy with round glasses, "Hey kid; get Sakura-hime to come to the bar." The janitor said pointing in her general direction.

"O-okay."

Yukito sweatdropped, "I don't think that's what he meant."

Kurogane shrugged, "What works, works, right?"

The boy noticed Sakura, Tomoyo, and Syaoran; getting on one knee in front of the girls, he kissed the back of Tomoyo's right hand, who lightly blushed, and Sakura's left, who turned absolutely fire-engine red.

He looked up, "I was asked to retrieve the princess; but you two are both so beautiful, I couldn't tell which one it was." He smiled suavely, "Unless you both are. Then if that's the case, which of the two elegant enchantresses in front of me is Sakura-hime?"

"Me." Sakura meeped.

As he rose to his feet, Syaoran glared at him, "Laying it on rather thick, aren't we?"

The bespectacled boy grinned, "Ah, forgive me your highness, I was unaware the princess had a royal consort. I had no intention to tread upon another's affairs of love."

Close by, Yuuko was recovering from a near heart-attack, "He's-he's-he's like _you_!" She said horrified.

"Who's like me, dear?"

"That-that _thing_ by the Royal Children!" She turned to glare at Clow, "I swear if you cloned yourself, I'll-"

Clow cut her off when he brought the back of her hand to his lips. Yuuko turned red. "You'll do what, dearest?''

"S-shut up." She said, blushing a bit more.

Clow laughed, "Ah yes, that 'thing', as you so quaintly put it, is Eriol Hiiragizawa, my second cousin, once removed. We share the same great-grandparents."

Yuuko looked surprised at him, "You can remember that without checking?"

Clow smiled, "Everyone said he's my carbon-copy in everything and kept asking how closely related we were. This resulted in me having to memorize it. Though," he looked over to where Watanuki was ranting at Doumeki, "your employee looks a great deal like me as well at that age." He raised an eyebrow at her, "That wouldn't happen to be the reason you torture that poor boy like you do, would it?"

"I can't deny that's not part of it."

"Aww, how cruel, dear. You shouldn't be so mean to your indentured servant."

The passing Touya scoffed.

Clow glanced down at where her hand was still in his and smirked, "And here I thought you didn't like me. Finally admitting your true feelings, dearest?"

Yuuko's blushed returned and she snatched her hand back, "Creep."

Back at the 'royal table' Eriol and Tomoyo were talking; or more exactly, blatantly flirting, as Sakura agreed with Fai at the bar counter. "So Lady Tomoyo, what brings you here?"

"Well, _Sir_ _Eriol_, I'm with my best friend, Sakura, to meet the goddess Chi."

"Goddess?"

"Oh, yes, that's what Touya calls her, the Goddess of Peace and Justice. I don't know why though…Anyways, what brings _you_ here?"

Well, I heard this place was popular, so much so it must relocate soon. I wanted to see if it was worth the walk to the new location." Eriol smiled charmingly, "Though if all the female customers are as exquisite as you, I'll be willing to walk five hundred miles."

When the princess and her consort returned, and it taking only a few minutes for the fact to become apparent to Eriol that Syaoran was easy for him to fluster; Fai appeared, "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Nah, it's cool." Syaoran squeaked while simultaneously trying to calm his rapidly beating heart and glaring at Eriol for laughing at him. **(1)**

"Well, you see, one of my labo-employees, the one who begged Chi not to go, had protested a bit to Lord Subaru's uniform. It had taken a while, but straightened out in the end. Still, you have my apologies." Fai turned behind him then rolled his eyes, "Your grace, there's no need to be shy." The vampire hesitantly scooted out from behind the café owner's back, "You'll do fine."

"Y-yes, thank you." His voice became stronger, "I shall perform at my upmost best to meet your expectations."

"Excellent! Good luck!" And the head waiter left.

Subaru smiled, confidence back, "May I receive your order?"

"Yes, I'll hav-"

Sakura was interrupted by Yukito yelling clear across the restaurant to her brother, "Your majesty! We need another spoon over here!"

The utensil flew past Subaru, nearly grazing his face. It would have landed embedded an inch deep into Yukito's table, despite being a spoon, if he had not plucked it from the air, "Thank you!"

"Off with your head!" The Royal Children sweatdropped and the Nobles laughed.

Subaru seemed completely unfazed, "Forgive me, would you be so kind as to repeat your request?"

Fai observed the events occurring throughout his domain as he leaned against the counter. "Subaru-kun's a real natural." Seishirou commented.

"So it seems." Fai smiled mischievously, "Yukito appears to be quite the fast hand, I wonder if he'd be any good at cards. Touya seems to have acquired rather excellent aim. I wonder where they learned those skills."

Seishirou muttered something about having to adept to survive. "What was that?"

"Nothing of great importance."

"That's what I thought."

On Thursday Fai had procured from fate knows where **(2)** and announced their new location that they were moving into at the end of the week. Also that they would not be open for a few days due to having to set-up.

There were a rather large number of complaints at that last part.

"Where are we supposed to go after work?!"

"Yeah, this is the only place with such hot wai-food!"

"Exactly, everywhere else the food isn't nearly as fine!"

Fai sweatdropped when Subaru's face turned absolutely red after Yukito explained the reason the protests were awkwardly worded was because they weren't referring to the food.

Chi went up giggling to her brother and whispered something into his ear. Fai grinned with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "My sister so kindly offered to serve refreshments free of charge to whomever volunteers to help speed the process along."

He looked pointedly at Kurogane, "but workers won't get free anything unless they make it themselves, Kuro-woofie." there was laughter as Fai nimbly dodged a mop thrown like a javelin.

~~Kitchen Cake~~

After telling half the customers they must wait until Saturday to help out, Fai flipped over the sign. He turned around and saw the elder vampire eating a slice of a cheesecake with Subaru sneaking bites while Kamui fended Fuuma off with a fork.

The aristocrat looked down at his plate, "Hey! Who ate my food?!"

"You're going to have to pay for that." Half of them clutched their rapidly beating hearts, "Why are you even eating it?"

"First of all, I made this, thus it is mine to eat at my own discretion. Secondly, just because I happen to be a vampire does not automatically equate to my consumption consisting only to that of blood. I, for one, am more fond of cheesecake."

"Kamui, you have some cake on your face." Fuuma pointed out.

"Really?" The vampire reached for a napkin.

However, Fuuma had other plans.

"That seems familiar, but for the life of me I can't remember where I saw it."

"I too feel the action has been previously preformed, many times in truth; as it effectively appears to resemble that of muscle memory." Subaru replied to Seishirou.

"Why you twisted jerk!" Fai held back Kamui's wrists, something the aristocrat will later be thankful for, to prevent the tearing of claws through flesh and furniture, "I shall rip out your throat, carve out your heart, and place your head upon a stake. In that order!"

Fuuma smirked, "I had no idea you had such imaginative death threats." Actually, he did, but he didn't think Subaru was being so exact. "Really, no need to overreact, Kamu-chan, all I did was get the cake off your pretty face."

"By licking from my cheek!"

"It tastes better that way."

The next day they had to start moving the heavy stuff. Chi was about to go back into the kitchen, where she had left Fuuma and Kamui, but stopped when she heard Kamui say, "Hey, get away from me." She grinned and leaned closer. "Oi! What's the big idea?!"

"I have to relocate that crate and you were in the way." She could hear the smirk in Fuuma's voice.

"You could have _asked_ me to move."

"Aww, but this way's more fun."

"Well you have had your fun. Now release me as I know you cannot complete your assigned task while we remain in such a position."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No, it is no. Now put me down." There was a thump. "Gently!"

Chi could no longer contain her laughter; she'd been nearly dying of silent giggles. She walked in to see Kamui on the floor, rubbing his back in pain and Fuuma smirking. "Aren't you two supposed to be working?"

"Err…"

Chi smiled and rolled her eyes, "The day's almost over, take a break. I'll tell nii-chan to let it slide.

As she left she heard Kamui say that Fuuma's help up was the last thing he needed.

* * *

**A/N:** I forgot to mention this in 'What You Cannot Choose', but I go out of my way to make the name of a person from a region as…_unique_ as possible. For example, Fai is Celestial, while Kurogane is Nihoney; the twins are Recourtiers, but the Sakurazukas are Sharyan. Yes, I know the whole word 'Shara' is not in the name, but the whole word 'France' isn't in the word 'French' either; though people from Clow and Jade are just Clows and Jades.

**1**: You're not gonna believe this, but it took me to exactly this point to realize I made Syaoran so much like Li-kun from Cardcaptor Sakura. I'll just try to keep a happy medium, 'kay?

**2**: I first started the 'all matters of luck and fate' thing a _long_ time ago. As I wrote and my style evolved, that one thing remained. I recently been using terms like 'Oh my luck' or 'fate knows where' as well; mainly because I always have trouble (read: awkwardness) deciding whether or not to capitalize the 'god' in 'oh my god' so thus the fate and luck. But originally it was created to make my writing unique, so NO STEALY! *nods decisively*

**NOTICE:** I'm _really_ sorry, but I probably won't update again. I thought this was my 'Final Fandom' and that I wouldn't move on to another one, but unfortunately it was not to be. I _might_ add another chapter, as the are like a hundred written pages in the story, so I'll leave this as incomplete. However don't be hanging on the edge of your seats. A monster thank you to all who read and especially to those who reviewed, I'll miss y'all.


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